New York, New York. When I was pretty young, I was fascinated by the silhouette of Holly Golightly in her trendy sunglasses and classic Givenchy gown in Breakfast at Tiffny's and Terry's singing in An Affair to Remember. As time went by, in 90s we were introduced to cyber relationship by You've Got Mail and we got to know more people via internet and IM, just like Kathleen Kelly and Joe Fox. In The Day after Tomorrow, young actors like Jake Gyllenhaal and Emmy Rossum further familiarize us with the environmental-conscious issues and the scene when the tidal wave floods New York, flushing in through 41 Street.
This city reminded me of where I am from. The diversity that I have been accustomed to. Back in the old days, five years as an undergraduate, every week I spent four days in a row watching foreign films in the multimedia centre before I rode my bike back to dorm. Every night, before hitting the bed, I'd be jotting down a few thoughts in my diary. Second year in college, Cecilia, my best roommate ever, moved out of the convent, and after that, I'd bike to her little apartment for an afternoon tea or a hot-pot dinner and we exchanged our diaries. An year after that, Cecilia applied to be an exchange student to Munich and she stayed there for two years and many more. I lost the most sincere friend I had ever had on the way of stepping into adulthood, although the pale yellow post-in still sits in my diary, asking me to go over and promising me the hot Cocoa at her cozy little room.
As soon as we got out of Flushing subway exit, BJ exclaimed, "Boy, this really looks like Benciao!" He meant the city where we used to live, back in late nineties when we started dating. The subway, the neon street lights, fascia, and signboards all looked much alike the borough where we used to reside. New York has Flushing and Taipei (though County, not City) has Banciao.
My memory of Taipei is fading away, as my memory of Cecilia is also becoming faint.
My dream of going to New York is now fulfilled whereas my hope of returning to somewhere I feel at home is not a castle in the air anymore.
This New York trip could be a sign and a watershed between a troubled mind and a newly-found mental tranquility. As usual, things don't comply with my plan. The detailed itinerary turned out to be a mind-boggle and the source of exhaustion. I forgot the fact that I can be a control freak, always aiming at sticking with what's planned. I have always been ambitious and greedy about getting things done, disregarding limited time and resources, and restrained energy. I was lost in all foreign tongues, wondering faces, sparkling eyes and my multicolour-highlighted trip plans. The full list of restaurant had a few checks and the introductory sheets of NYC sightseeing spots became ragged paper. My New York trip was fulfilled before I realized I actually had much fun strolling around and talking things over with my beloved one.
Coincidentally, my friends Liz and Greg are from New York. Meg and Greg even went to the same school. As Cecilia disappeared on my radar, fortunately, I have these great and beautiful minds stay with me and walk me through this bridge over troubled water. For these angels, I shall always be indebted to.
This spring, I had a big bite into the Big Apple. As I nibbled to the core, I finally found the answer to my quest -- a peaceful mind.
