Why do I keep finding my friends walking away from me?
Why do I keep finding the annoyed facial expressions on their faces?
Why do I always regard (or imagine?) then discomfort is because of me?
Is it really my fault that they can't enjoy themselves or feel
content or happy?
Should I be responsible for their uneasiness and unhappiness?
Or I am, as a matter of fact, a pain-in-the-ass in people's eyes?
Perhaps it is me that care too much about what people think of me?
I tell myself that I have to let go
and stop asking people to act according to my thoughts.
Yet am I doing that? If I am, am I doing it unconsciously?
Maybe, little by little, I am turning into Mom: demanding, critical, and arbitrary.
I consider myself friendly whereas my friends think they offend me, perhaps.
LET GO!
At times, friends, are like old lovers,
who had better keep them in
a distance so as to maintain a blur sense of beautiful memory.
The closer you get to see them,
the harder you try to reflect on every detail you and
him on her had been through,
the more heart-brokening and more ugly you would feel about the unpleasant part of the memory.