I've always loved babies and given any chance, I'd like to have one. But recently I am very much bothered and irritated with all the baby talk and the urges for me to have babies "while I still can have one" because "the clock is ticking."
Honestly, most of the married couples with kids that I know of are happy. Yet, there's one or two of them appear to be symbiotic marriage: the couple have least in common and have lost the sparks inbetween them cling onto the baby to maintain the ideology of a family, instead of working on the spiritual connection and the mutual genuine affection. The consumation between them was probably a composite of physical relations and material fulfillment. In other words, the instinct of nesting. They build everything as a show piece disregard what their religious belief admonishes them about vanity. After the capital assets, there comes their proof and product of their productivity that they render as another show piece.
"You need some making-baby tips," said one woman.
"It is the babies that fulfill your life, " said another.
"What really matters is that you find a rich or financially-promising husband," still another woman said.
I couldn't help but wonder what education and cultural background that have been filling them with conceptions like these. And, what era do they think they are in and where they put themselves in this society? For them, the key to a real life lies in material and physical achievement. And a good wife means one that provides her body as useful and productive. By saying "useful" and "productive", the definition is all about materialism, maternity and femininity that lead women to men.
In that sense, a woman has got to hook up with some potential guy and get married. After the ceremony, she is expected to conceive very soon; if she is not, she has to pray to God. According to the extreme, perhaps the Fundamentalism years ago, she deserves death if she fails to carry the blood line for the family. In a word, she is a utensil and ought to be obedient to the head of the family and the creed of her faith.
What I don't get is: why do these conservatists assume that everyone longs for babies and need babies to fulfill the family? Who decide on the definition of "normalcy"? Who is ever concerned with those who are barren and try to have babies but fail? Where do they get the ideas that people want to be living like them so as to be happy? What determines happiness and how can a happy couple be without a baby?
There are definitely more than one standard answer, for me; and I refuse to receive one single answer, response or suggestion or advice that is provided by humdrum, cumbersome and self-conceited buggers.